Sox denounce newest acquistion

In an unusual move, the VP Golden Sox have issued a statement denouncing their newest acquisition, free agent slugger Barry Bonds.

"In signing Bonds, the Golden Sox in no way endorse this lying sack of shit as being worthy to put on a Sox jersey," owner Adam Kirby said. "We don't even really want him to do well. But, hell, we needed more walks, and we knew this assclown would probably deliver them.

"We kind of hope he gets indicted soon, so we can release him again and mock him mercilessly. But as long as he's still racking up numbers, we're willing to look the other way in pursuit of Fuggin Cup glory."

Other ICA owners criticized the Sox for sacrificing ethics by picking up a known cheater.

"The American Giants have a team policy barring steroid users from our squad," said Giants owner Jason Smith. "A pox on the Golden Sox!"

Replied Kirby: "Dude, have you ever seen The American Giants' record? I think a ficus plant would have a more successful franchise.

"But, yeah. Bonds is a piece of shit."