"Hi. My name is Albert Pujols. I'm a really good hitter. In fact, if I stay healthy throughout my career, I might just end up being the greatest 1Bmen to ever play.
I'm having a really good year this year. Check out what I'm on pace to do for the season after 45 games:
82 HRs - new single season record (Bonds - 73 - 2001)
205 RBI- new single season record (Hack Wilson - 190 - 1930)
457 TBs - tying Babe Ruth's single season record (1921)
So anyway, I'm really good. I might be having one of the two or three greatest offensive seasons ever. Maybe the best. That's really good.
I play in the ICA for the VP Golden Sox. They get a lot of knocks because they've never won it all, but we've come close a few times. Still, I'm glad I'm a Golden Sox (the clubhouse is better than what I had with Walden).
We're in first place right now, and we're looking really good. I'm really proud of what we've been able to do.
I gotta tell you though, if I end up putting up the greatest single offensive season in baseball history, and we somehow DON'T win the Fuggin Cup, that will probably be the biggest single embarrasment in the history of fantasy baseball. That'd be the choke job of choke jobs.
I'd really like the ICA to look back on 2006 and think about a Golden Sox championship and the ridiculous numbers I put up to help us do it. If we don't win it all, though, I'm an afterthought, and there'll be hell to pay.
So memo to my owner: I'm doing my part -- let's not blow this."
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