Let's play Who Would You Rather Have

Here's the 2006 stats from five players. You tell me which you'd want most:
R RBI SB BA SLG BB K
61 68 1 .292 .477 55 69
82 92 5 .310 .497 55 96
93 62 52 .267 .393 65 100
73 34 19 .279 .404 30 92
101 85 8 .270 .553 63 162


Top to bottom, Player No. 3 would seem to be the best of the bunch, followed by No. 2. It's a toss up for third place between No. 5 and No. 1 -- if you can afford the strikeouts, you would probably take No. 5.

But if you're Tom, you take Player No. 1 over any of them. Why? Because his name is Jeff Kent, and he is one of Tom's pet players. Anyone who doesn't share Tom's love of his pet players, such as Jason Smith and myself, gets his scorn.

As you'll notice, the other players in the comparison are, in respective order, Lyle Overbay, Chone Figgins, Rickie Weeks and Bill Hall. Those are the players that Jason kept instead of Kent, which Tom criticized, but only Weeks had clearly inferior numbers last year -- and besides being 14 years younger than Kent, Weeks missed about half the year with injury. Indeed, the best player of the bunch last year was Figgins, whom Tom has previously dubbed one of the most overrated players in baseball.

Keep that in mind next time Tom criticizes your personnel decisions.

Mock Draft #2

With the first pick in the 2007 ICA Draft the Upper Deck Bleacher Bums select Jason Bay (LF-Pitt). cue huge uproar from the Alex Rodriguez camp.

Trade to Report

Outlaw Stars send:
Picks 43, 49

to Walden, for:
Pick 36

If someone wants to turn that into article form, that'd be great.

Rating the draft board (updated)

At first glance, with the top two picks, Figgs would seem to be in the best position to improve his team heading into the March draft. But after crunching some numbers, that might not be so obvious.

I calculated the average draft position for each team below. For teams with less than nine picks, I ascribed #91 to each of their missing picks; for teams with more than nine picks, I disregarded their extras. Here are the average draft positions:

Weiland: 24
Jason: 28
Colby: 38
Mike: 39
Figgs: 41
Meer: 51
Tom: 53
Adam: 56
Curt: 59
Newman: 74 (!)

Now, certainly those numbers can be misleading. In reality, we all know there's not a huge difference between pick #65 and pick #90. Indeed, for some managers, the only thing that really matters is having a strong top of the draft. With that in mind, here are the positional averages for each team's top five picks:

Jason: 13
Figgs: 15
Weiland: 17
Mike: 20
Colby: 24
Tom: 33
Meer: 34
Curt: 38
Adam: 43
Newman: 67 (!)

Effects of old trade

Which option would you rather have right now?

Rich Hill (MR)
Pick 10

or

John Smoltz
Pick 31

Minor League Draft

Now that we have a formalized tiebreaker, here is your minor league draft picks:

Giants: 1, 18, 19
Oedipus: 2, 17, 20
Walden: 3, 16, 21
UDBB: 4, 15, 22
PTI: 5, 14
Renegades: 6, 13
Outlaw: 8, 11
DaFaze: 9
VPGS: 10

Minutes of Owners' Meeting

I. Meeting of the Illinois Chooch Association was called to order by Commisioner Kirby at 7:17 PM, Saturday December 9, 2006. Present: Kirby, Newman, Feigh, Smith, Weiland, Hanik, Meer. Tardy: Lyons

II. State of the Association by Kirby

III. Election of new Statistician. Kirby nominates Meer. Lyons seconds. Passes unanimously.

IV. Election of new chief marketing officer. Weiland nominates Lyons. Seconded by Meer. Passes unanimously.

V. Expansion: Lyons will handle expansion meeting detail for fall outfield. Online application pending.

VI. Motions for formal trade away, trade down, and arbitration all fail.

VII. Motion for a no trade clause addition to draft day by Lyons. Language passes as follows unanimously:

“During the ICA’s major draft, the owner of a draft pick directly behind another pick that was just selected (owner two), may offer a no trade clause to the player just selected – the player selected with the draft pick directly preceding the pick currently on the clock.

If so done, the player’s original selector (owner 1) will either match the offer of no trade, or the player will be given to owner two with a no-trade binding. If owner 1 denies a no trade offering, his team will be on the clock for the next pick, and will also receive a compensatory sandwich pick after the 7th round.

If either owner ends up with the player in question with a no trade binding, they may not cut or trade said player, unless he dies, fails to make a 40-man roster out of spring training, or is cut via mandatory release.”

VIII. Present teams each named a backup gm for the upcoming draft.
a. Renegades – Kirby
b. Walden – Hanik
c. DaFaze – Meer
d. Giants – Feigh
e. Outlaw – Lyons
f. Oedipus – Lyons
g. Pine Tar – Lyons
h. Golden Sox – Newman

IX. Lyons made a motion to formalize a tiebreaker to determine minor league draft order. Suggested winning percentage over the previouis two years. Passes unanimously.

X. The following language regarding offseason free agency was passed unanimously:

“Free agent transactions will henceforth be allowed between the period of two days following the draft – at the conclusion of the initial waiver period – until the end of the Fuggin Cup Final.”

XI. Discussion of playoff transactions. “Henceforth, a team in the playoffs shall be limited to 5 transactions per week, where a roster move is defined as a waiver or free agent for player swap. A week is defined as the day a player enters one’s roster.” Passes unanimously.

XII. Discussion of appeals proceedings. “A team appealing a ruling of the commissioner’s office shall pay $5 to challenge the ruling. If successful in arbitration, the money will be returned. If unsuccessful, it will be used to limit the cost of the league outing.”

XIII. Discussion of dues. An increase in dues to $50 per year was passed unanimously.

XIV. Commissioner’s office is appointing the Commissioner’s Special Subcommittee on Yahoo Exit Strategy. Kirby, Smith, Feigh, Newman will report their findings to the league on or before draft day.

XV. Draft day is set for Saturday, March 24, 2007 at Dirty Champs in Oakbrook Terrace, IL.

XVI. Rulebook was perused as amended and passes unanimously. Being revised by Lyons before final submission to owners.

XVII. MR teams for 2007 were drawn: Washington, NY Mets, Kansas City, LA Angels, Chicago Cubs.

XVIII. Lottery was done. The following is the draft order each round of the draft: Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, Walden Warriors, Outlaw Stars, American Giants, Oedipus & the Mama’s Boys, Wyoming Pigs.

Helton joins Fuggin Cup champs

Just days before the ICA Winter Meetings convene in Villa Park, a major deal has gone down between the Fuggin Cup champion Golden Sox and the cellar-dwelling American Giants.

During the viewing of tonight's Bulls-76ers game, Giants owner Jason Smith and Sox owner Adam Kirby agreed on a trade that sends perennial All Star Todd Helton to the champs in exchange for Chone "Don't Call Me Chone" Figgins. Helton is expected to serve as the Sox' second utility hitter, backing up first baseman Albert Pujols and fellow utility man Prince Fielder. Who knows what the hell Smith will do with Figgins.

The Sox are likely not done dealing. Sources indicate the champs are also shopping All Star pitchers Barry Zito and John Smoltz.

Atkins Fails Physical; Trade to Walden Nixed

Madison, WI – Citing the failure of a physical, Walden Warriors’ General Manager Tom Lyons declined a tentative trade that would have had his team reacquire Outlaw third basemen Garrett Atkins.

The deal would have sent Walden Starting Pitcher Jake Peavy to Outlaw in return.

“That’s why we set up tentative arrangements to some trades,” said Lyons. “We want to make sure we know what we have before it’s finalized.”

Atkins was a member of the controversial ‘Moneyball’ draft Walden had in 2005. Due to strict 13-man rules, along with the lack of a minor league system at the time, Walden was forced to cut him after 2005.

The 27-year old Atkins is coming off of a career year in 2006. After hitting .329 with 29 Home Runs and 120 RBIs, he was coveted by Walden.

Peavy struggled in 2006, going 11-15 with a 4.09 ERA, though he was third in the ICA in strikeouts. He is 57-45 in his career.

Outlaw owner Steve Weiland did not immediately return phone calls requesting comment.

Weiland reverses decision to leave ICA

Outlaw Stars Official Press Release

After a show of support from several owners around the league, Outlaw Stars owner Stephen Weiland will remain President of Player Personnel for the Outlaw Stars franchise, leaving the managerial duties during the season to the team's new General Manager Trent Felver.

When asked what brought about the change of heart for his decision to leave the front office owner Weiland responded, "The commoraderie between fellow ICA owners and myself would not allow me to walk away entirely. Although I don't have the time necessary to put in over the course of the season I still feel I can contribute to the Outlaw Star orginazation and to the ICA in my new role. My fellow owners show of support was the deciding factor to keep me involved and showed me what a great league and what quality owners we have."

Winter Meetings

Saturday, December 9th

Kirby Kasa: 618 s. Wisconsin, Villa Park, IL

RSVP at: The Evite invitation you should have received.

We'll be talking about...
The disabled list, appeals, new officers, minor leagues, playoff rosters, no trade clauses, arbitration, rulebooks, expansion, and much, much more. Reply with suggestions for the agenda!

Back to just one Steve

Outlaw Stars owner Steve Weiland announced today he is leaving the league to participate in a mission trip to Uganda.

Weiland, a charter member of the ICA and a former owner of pre-ICA teams like MyAsian's and the infamous Bubba and Friends, has handed over the reigns to his franchise to some guy he works with, whose identity has not yet been disclosed. The new dude will be introduced at the winter meetings. Supposedly he knows his shit.

A two-time regular season champion who nevertheless failed to win a Fuggin Cup, Weiland's departure appears to be permanent, though he will be welcomed back to the league in the future if he changes his mind.

Weiland's departure means that only half of the members of the 5-year-old ICA were around for its founding: Adam Kirby, Tom Lyons, Mike Feigh, Jason Smith and Newman. Curt Creighton took over the Miracle Mets from Jason's choochy college roommate in year 2, the same year Figgs adopted the woeful Potato-sukin mickeys. Steve Meer and Colby Hanik joined the leage in year 4 as expansion owners.

Free Agent

Walden drops Scott Hatteberg
Walden picks up Curtis Granderson

Congrats to my Golden Sox

Your 2006 Fuggin Cup Champion Golden Sox:

Matt Belisle
Lance Berkman
Joe Blanton
David Cabrera
Mike Cameron
Roger Clemens
Doug Davis
Jermaine Dye
Prince Fielder
Chone Figgins
Jeff Francis
Ryan Garko
Geoff Geary
Aaron Heilman
Ramon Hernandez
Tim Hudson
Bobby Jenks
Kenny Lofton
Pedro Martinez
Wade Miller
Dustin Moseley
Akinori Otsuka
Hayden Penn
Albert Pujols
Mike Rivera
Scott Rolen
John Smoltz
Jeff Suppan
Miguel Tejada
Jim Thome
Carlos Villanueva
Billy Wagner
Jeff Weaver
Brandon Webb
David Wells
Bob Wickman
Ty Wigginton
Dontrelle Willis
Jake Woods
Barry Zito
Joel Zumaya

Official Seal, Nominees

Nominee A

You know that's the half-life logo.

Nominee B

Statistician Smart

Secondary logos

I created some secondary logos for everybody ... what y'all think?

Official Seal

If this doesn't say "Chooch," I don't know what does ...

Minor League Draft

Now that we have final standings for 2006, here is your draft order for the first ever, upcoming minor league draft!

(Note: we do need to formalize a tiebreaker).


1 American Giants
2 Oedipus & the Mama's Boys
3 Walden Warriors
4 UD Bleacher Bums
5 Pine Tar Incident
6 Newmaniacs
7 Outlaw Stars
8 Wyoming Pigs
9 DaFaze
10 VP Golden Sox
11 Wyoming Pigs
12 Outlaw Stars
13 Newmaniacs
14 Pine Tar Incident
15 UD Bleacher Bums
16 Walden Warriors
17 Oedipus & the Mama's Boys
18 American Giants
19 American Giants
20 Oedipus & the Mama's Boys
21 Walden Warriors
22 UD Bleacher Bums

Put another way, by team:


American Giants 1 18 19
Oedipus & the Mama's Boys 2 17 20
Walden Warriors 3 16 21
UD Bleacher Bums 4 15 22
Pine Tar Incident 5 14
Newmaniacs 6 13
Outlaw Stars 7 12
Wyoming Pigs 8 11
DaFaze 9
VP Golden Sox 10

Again to remind you, "Picks in the minor league draft may not be traded under any circumstances. "

Best Weeks Ever

(Updated 8/17/08)

Hitting
Most Runs: 59 (Outlaw Stars, 2004)
Most RBI: 71 (DaFaze, 2003; Wyoming Pigs, 2004)
Most Stolen Bases: 16 (VP Golden Sox, 2008)
Most Walks: 49 (American Giants, 2008)
Fewest Strikeouts: 12 (Newmaniacs, 2003)
Most Bases: 175 (DaFaze, 2003)
Highest Average: .384 (UD Bleacher Bums, 2004)
Highest Slugging: .714 (DaFaze, 2003)

Pitching
Most Innings: 100.2 (Newman's Renegades, 2008)
Most Wins: 10 (Outlaw Stars, Pine Tar Incident, 2005)
Fewest Losses: 0
Most Saves: 13 (Drunken Irishmen, 2002)
Fewest Walks: 2 (Walden Warriors, 2004)
Most Strikeouts: 97 (Newmaniacs, 2004)
Most Holds: 9 (Walden Warriors, 2007; Wrigley Bears, 2008)
Lowest ERA: 0.68 (Outlaw Stars, 2008)
Lowest WHIP: 0.68 (Outlaw Stars, 2008)

Single-season bests

Most Runs
1) 866 — Wyoming Pigs, 2004
2) 831 — Pine Tar Incident, 2009
3) 790 — DaFaze, 2010

Most RBI
1) 866 — Wyoming Pigs, 2003
2) 851 — Pine Tar Incident, 2009
3) 778 — Wyoming Pigs, 2008

Most Stolen Bases
1) 179 — Pine Tar Incident, 2007
2) 174 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2009
3) 161 — Bald Bombers, 2010

Most Batting Walks
1) 693 — Outlaw Stars, 2004
2) 628 — Wyoming Pigs, 2010
2) 605 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2008

Fewest Batting Strikeouts
1) 711 — Outlaw Stars, 2008
2) 719 — Outlaw Stars, 2007
3) 731 — Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, 2008

Most Bases
1) 2,539 — DaFaze, 2003
2) 2,447 — Walden Warriors, 2009
3) 2,412 — Pine Tar Incident, 2009

Fewest Errors
1) 54 — Walden Warriors, 2003
1) 54 — Newmaniacs, 2005
1) 54 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2005

Highest Fielding Percentage
1) .991 — Wyoming Pigs, 2008
1) .991 — Wyoming Pigs, 2009
3) .990 — Pine Tar Incident, 2008
3) .990 — Wyoming Pigs, 2010

Highest Batting Average
1) .304 — Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, 2004
2) .298 — DaFaze, 2008
3) .293 — DaFaze, 2010

Highest Slugging Percentage
1) .548 — Outlaw Stars, 2004
2) .510 — Walden Warriors, 2009
3) .493 — DaFaze, 2008

Most Innings
1) 1,542 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2010
2) 1,536 — Newman's Renegades, 2008
3) 1,525 — Wyoming Pigs, 2005

Most Wins
1) 112 — Wyoming Pigs, 2005
2) 107 — Newman's Renegades, 2008
3) 102 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2010

Fewest Losses
1) 47 — American Giants, 2002
2) 55 — American Giants, 2009
3) 57 — American Giants, 2008
3) 57 — American Giants, 2010

Most Saves
1) 143 — Newman's Renegades, 2007
2) 126 — Newman's Renegades, 2009
3) 119 — Newman's Renegades, 2010

Fewest Pitching Walks
1) 257 — American Giants, 2005
2) 386 — Wyoming Pigs, 2010

Most Pitching Strikeouts
1) 1,409 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2010
2) 1,333 — Pine Tar Incident, 2010
3) 1,279 — Pine Tar Incident, 2009

Most Holds
1) 107 — Walden Warriors, 2007
2) 88 — Walden Warriors, 2010
3) 83 — Walden Warriors, 2009

Lowest ERA
1) 3.07 — Walden Warriors, 2003
2) 3.27 — Newman's Renegades, 2010
3) 3.36 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2010

Lowest WHIP
1) 1.14 — Walden Warriors, 2003
2) 1.23 — Wyoming Pigs, 2010
3) 1.24 — Pine Tar Incident, 2009
3) 1.24 — Newman's Renegades, 2010

Single-Season Worsts

Fewest Runs
1) 595 — Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, 2010
2) 615 — Potato-sukin mickeys, 2002
3) 636 — Outlaw Stars, 2008

Fewest RBI
1) 590 — Outlaw Stars, 2010
2) 593 — Wrigley Bears, 2008
3) 603 — American Giants, 2003

Fewest Stolen Bases
1) 49 — Outlaw Stars, 2007
2) 56 — Newman's Renegades, 2009
3) 61 — Pine Tar Incident, 2010

Fewest Batting Walks
1) 407 — Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, 2004
2) 422 — Bald Bombers, 2010
3) 437 — DaFaze, 2008

Most Batting Strikeouts
1) 1,068 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2006
2) 1,041 — Walden Warriors, 2010
3) 1,025 — Newman's Renegades, 2010

Fewest Bases
1) 1,913 — Potato-sukin mickeys, 2002
2) 1,928 — Outlaw Stars, 2010
3) 1,953 — Wrigley Bears, 2008

Most Errors
1) 97 — Pine Tar Incident, 2005

Worst Fielding Percentage
1) .980 — Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, 2006
1) .980 — Outlaw Stars, 2006
1) .980 — Newman's Renegades, 2009
1) .980 — Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, 2010

Lowest Batting Average
1) .255 — American Giants, 2005
2) .266 — Newman's Renegades, 2008
3) .267 — Wyoming Pigs, 2009
3) .267 — Outlaw Stars, 2010

Lowest Slugging Percentage
1) .406 — American Giants, 2005
2) .410 — Wrigley Bears, 2010
3) .412 — Outlaw Stars, 2010

Fewest Innings
1) 918 — American Giants, 2005
2) 1,069 — Outlaw Stars, 2008

Fewest Wins
1) 55 — Walden Warriors, 2005
1) 55 — American Giants, 2006
3) 56 — Outlaw Stars, 2008

Most Losses
1) 90 — Outlaw Stars, 2006
2) 89 — Wyoming Pigs, 2009
3) 85 — DaFaze, 2010

Fewest Saves
1) 4 — Walden Warriors, 2009
2) 12 — Walden Warriors, 2010
3) 21 — Walden Warriors, 2005

Most Pitching Walks
1) 561 — Oedipus & the Mamas Boys, 2010
2) 526 — Newman's Renegades, 2008
3) 525 — VP Golden Sox, 2004

Fewest Pitching Strikeouts
1) 648 — American Giants, 2007
2) 818 — Outlaw Stars, 2008

Fewest Holds
1) 0 — Upper Deck Bleacher Bums, 2008
2) 2 — Newman's Renegades, 2010
3) 3 — Newmaniacs, 2004

Highest ERA
1) 4.66 — Wyoming Pigs, 2006
2) 4.55 — Bald Bombers, 2009
3) 4.53 — Wyoming Pigs, 2009

Highest WHIP
1) 1.43 — VP Golden Sox, 2007
1) 1.43 — Wyoming Pigs, 2009
1) 1.43 — Bald Bombers, 2009

2006 ICA All Star Teams

Team Illinois
Manager: Mike Feigh
C: Victor Martinez (DF)
1B: Justin Morneau (UDB)
2B: Dan Uggla (UDB)
3B: Miguel Cabrera (DF)
SS: Jose Reyes (DF)
OF: Carlos Lee (UDB)
OF: Manny Ramirez (DF)
OF: Ichiro Suzuki (UDB)
Util: Adam Dunn (OMB)
Util: Ryan Howard (AG)
SP: Chris Young (UDB)
SP: Francisco Liriano (AG)
SP: Brandon Webb (UDB)
RP: Jonathona Papelbon (UDB)
RP: BJ Ryan (DF)
RP: Joe Nathan (OS)
P: Joe Speier (UDB)
P: Mike Timlin (UDB)
Bench: Grady Sizemore (OS)
Bench: Bobby Abreau (OMB)
Bench: Carlos Zambrano (UDB)
Bench: Aaron Harang (ODB)


Team World
Manager: Adam Kirby
C: Joe Mauer (WP)
1B: Albert Pujols (VPG)
2B: Chase Utley (WW)
3B: David Wright (PTI)
SS: Nomar Garciaparra (PTI)
OF: Carl Crawford (PTI)
OF: Jermaine Dye (VPG)
OF: Alfonso Soriano (WP)
Util: David Ortiz (Ren)
Util: Jim Thome (WP)
SP: Roy Halladay (WW)
SP: Mike Mussina (Ren)
SP: Johan Santana (Ren)
RP: Bobby Jenks (VPG)
RP: Tom Gordon (Ren)
RP: Trevor Hoffman (Ren)
P: Joel Zumaya (VPG)
P: Scott Linebrink (PTI)
Bench: Carlos Beltran (WP)
Bench: Travis Hafner (WW)
Bench: Curt Schilling (Ren)
Bench: Chris Capuano (Ren)

My turn to play mad innovator

There's been talk for as long as the ICA's been in existence of breaking off into two divisions, for the purposes of an unbalanced schedule favoring rivalries and to add to playoff excitement by creating two separate (but equal!) races.

The straight divisional concept would be a great addition to the league, although there remain some hangups. First, technology is a factor -- we would either need to find a site that allows for free divisional play, or we would have to pony up the extra $200 to upgrade to Yahoo Plus. Second, there is the question of how to fairly align the divisions. We'd want to account for natural rivalries, but then the default alignment would probably end up as "Guys Who Went to High School Together" and "Everybody Else." That's neither equitable nor good for the longterm stability of the league.

Instead, I'd like to propose the ICA adopt -- after expansion to 12 teams -- a fairly radical divisional concept, based on the model of European soccer.

As is my understanding of it, in European soccer, the leagues are realigned each year based on teams' performance the previous year. That is, the bottom-feeders of the Elite League are banished the following season to the Intermediate League, and the top teams from Intermediate move on up to Elite.

Now, I'm not suggesting we banish the Giants and the Mamas Boys.

Rather, we would have two divisions, a Group 1 and a Group 2. These groups would be initially established based on the final standings at the end of our next expansion year. Group 1 would be comprised of the top 6 teams, and Group 2 would be the bottom 6. The groups would play an unbalanced schedule, with games against all teams, but the majority of games against teams in their own group.

But here's the catch: Only teams in Group 1 are eligible to win the Fuggin Cup. Teams in Group 2, on the other hand, are fighting for the right to jump up into Group 1 the following year. The way I envision it (and this can certainly be tweaked), the teams that place in fifth and sixth -- i.e., miss the playoffs in Group 1 -- would be bounced to Group 2. The top two teams in Group 2 would then elevate to Group 1.

Before you scoff at the concept, consider the positives:

• This model rewards smart, longterm planning, by requiring our champion to be a solid team for at least two consecutive years. It would eliminate the possibility of a flash-in-the-pan winner, a la the 2004 Newmaniacs, not to take anything away from Newman's championship.
• It would provide serious annual incentive for mediocre or bad teams to compete. Currently, our system discourages middle-of-the-pack teams from really trying to improve themselves in any given year. Instead, it's often beneficial for a mediocre team to merely trade good players and stockpile draft picks with an eye to the future. This system would give every year more urgency, as non-contenders would be fighting to make the jump or to hold on to their position for the next season.
• It would give legitimate hope to the worst teams. Right now, Colby and Jason have little hope of winning anything of any importance in the near future. But in the group format, they would have a realistically attainable goal -- beating out the mediocre teams for a shot at placement in the top group. Let's face it, Oedipus isn't going to outdo my Golden Sox anytime soon, but it's not unreasonable to think Colby's team could edge out the Pigs -- especially with more games against poor competition.
• It raises the level of excitement for everybody, even the top teams. With the current model, contenders often get several "weeks off" during the season when they play the lesser squads. Not only are the teams mismatched talentwise, but often the bad teams aren't managed as aggressively because they really aren't playing for anything. With the group format, both of these factors are mitigated -- top teams play other top teams more often, and the bottom teams will be more involved because they'll have an attainable goal.

So, is anybody even on board to considering this proposal? I realize it has a ways to go to perfect it, and I know it is radical. But unlike some other proposals bandied about on this board, this one both solves some genuine competitiveness issues, and it's not overly complicated to understand.

Thoughts?

Tom's Revised All-Star Ballot

25-man teams, each team represented

NL
OF - Beltran, Abreu, Soriano
3B - Wright
SS - Reyes
2B - Utley
1B - Pujols
C - Estrada

SP - Arroyo, Zambrano, Capuano, Webb, Schmidt
RP - Fuentes, Saito, Wagner, Coffey, Gordon, Hoffman

Bench - Berkman, Giles, Bay, Johnson, Rolen, McCann

4 Mets...I don't like it either...

AL
OF - Granderson, Crawford, Wells
3B - Crede
SS - Jeter
2B - Lopez
1B - Giambi
C - Mauer

SP - Santana, Halladay, Kazmir, Zito, Schilling
RP - Papelbon, Ryan, Nathan, Otsuka, Jenks, Rivera

Bench - Hernandez, Thome, Hafner, E Brown, O-Cabrera, Youkilis

Euclis

"Hello. My name is Kevin Youkilis. I'm an on-base machine. I was featured in Moneyball as Euclis: the Greek God of walks. My manager doesn't know that I'm his best hitter in 2006, so I don't get nearly the at-bats that I deserve.

There's only a couple of ICA 3Bmen better than me, and only a couple of 1Bmen. I'm really good, and nobody knows it. "

Tom's All-Star Ballot

Tom's All-Star Ballot

AL:
C- Hernandez, Bal
1B - Giambi, nyy
2b - Lopez, Sea
3B - Chavez, Oak
SS - Jeter, NYY
OF - Crawford, Granderson, ManRam
DH - Thome, CWS

Filling out the team (25-man roster, each team represented)-
SP - Kazmir, Contreras, Santana, Buehrle, Halladay
RP- Papelbon, Shields, Otsuka, Ryan, Rodney, Ray
Bench- Hafner, Gomes, Youkilis, Grudzielanek, Mauer
Best player not going: Alex Riox, Tor
(First time since 1999 that ARod doesn't go).

NL:
C- Estrada, Arz
1B- Pujols, StL
2B- Utley, Phi
3B - Ensberg, Hou
SS- Lopez, Cin
OF- Abreu, Giles, Beltran
(DH- Berkman)

SP- Webb, Glavine, Arroyo, Mulder+, Oswalt
RP- Fuentes, Dempster, Benitez, Baez, Gonzalez, Gordon
Bench- A. Jones, Cabrera, Soriano, C. Lee, McCann
Best player not going: Delgado

+Mulder isn't as good of a pitcher as Pedro, but he's actually contributed offensively. I hemmed and hawed on whether to count total value or just pitching value; I went with the former. Both the Cards and Mets already have guys in there, so if you went Pedro instead of Mulder it would be fine by me.

Some predictions:
*Not nearly as many Yankees deserve to go (Jeter & Giambi) than will actually go (Jeter, Giambi, Posada, Cano, Matsui, ARod). It's very refreshing to not have Joe Torre manage the AL team.
*ESPN will again sound like morons when they complain about snubs from the AL roster.
*There's no way that a Kazmir v. Webb matchup is going to fill seats, and neither team's manager is smart enough to pick those two anyway.
*The AL will once again clobber the NL.
*It's only difficult to represent every team in the NL - more teams, less talent - but ESPN will still complain about the every-team-ought-to-be-represented rule.

It's asbout the trash talk

How cool would it be if the ICA had jackets for owners that have won the Fuggin Cup? You know how NFL Hall of Famers get to wear their puke-yellow jackets every year on induction weekend?

I'm thinking purple, a la the color of Illinois in our logo. Thing is, we need everyone to be in on it, otherwise it'd be stupid for the one or two guys who do care.

What do y'all think?

Jose Alberto Pujols

"Hi. My name is Albert Pujols. I'm a really good hitter. In fact, if I stay healthy throughout my career, I might just end up being the greatest 1Bmen to ever play.

I'm having a really good year this year. Check out what I'm on pace to do for the season after 45 games:

82 HRs - new single season record (Bonds - 73 - 2001)
205 RBI- new single season record (Hack Wilson - 190 - 1930)
457 TBs - tying Babe Ruth's single season record (1921)

So anyway, I'm really good. I might be having one of the two or three greatest offensive seasons ever. Maybe the best. That's really good.

I play in the ICA for the VP Golden Sox. They get a lot of knocks because they've never won it all, but we've come close a few times. Still, I'm glad I'm a Golden Sox (the clubhouse is better than what I had with Walden).

We're in first place right now, and we're looking really good. I'm really proud of what we've been able to do.

I gotta tell you though, if I end up putting up the greatest single offensive season in baseball history, and we somehow DON'T win the Fuggin Cup, that will probably be the biggest single embarrasment in the history of fantasy baseball. That'd be the choke job of choke jobs.

I'd really like the ICA to look back on 2006 and think about a Golden Sox championship and the ridiculous numbers I put up to help us do it. If we don't win it all, though, I'm an afterthought, and there'll be hell to pay.

So memo to my owner: I'm doing my part -- let's not blow this."

A $30 million mistake

"I don't have a dominant pitch."

The Quarter-Season Mark

Is it time to revisit those pre-season predictions?

Lyons Pre-Season Picks
1.) DaFaze
2.) Wyoming
3.) VP
4.) Walden
5.) Pine Tar
6.) Renegades
7.) Outlaw
8.) Upper Deck
9.) Oedipus
10.) American Giants

1st Round
VP defeats Wyoming
Walden defeats DaFaze

Finals
VP defeats Walden

Now, I'll go with:
1.) VP
2.) Wyoming
3.) Walden
4.) DaFaze
5.) Pine Tar
6.) Outlaw
7.) Upper Deck
8.) Renegades
9.) Oedipus
10.) American Giants

1st Round
VP defeats DaFaze
Walden defeats Wyoming

Finals
VP defeats Walden

It seems clear that, barring injury, the 2006 season can be summed up by:
a) the VP Golden Sox
b) 6 teams battling for 3 playoff spots, all with pretty equal cases, and
c) Newman, Colby, & Jason

Sox denounce newest acquistion

In an unusual move, the VP Golden Sox have issued a statement denouncing their newest acquisition, free agent slugger Barry Bonds.

"In signing Bonds, the Golden Sox in no way endorse this lying sack of shit as being worthy to put on a Sox jersey," owner Adam Kirby said. "We don't even really want him to do well. But, hell, we needed more walks, and we knew this assclown would probably deliver them.

"We kind of hope he gets indicted soon, so we can release him again and mock him mercilessly. But as long as he's still racking up numbers, we're willing to look the other way in pursuit of Fuggin Cup glory."

Other ICA owners criticized the Sox for sacrificing ethics by picking up a known cheater.

"The American Giants have a team policy barring steroid users from our squad," said Giants owner Jason Smith. "A pox on the Golden Sox!"

Replied Kirby: "Dude, have you ever seen The American Giants' record? I think a ficus plant would have a more successful franchise.

"But, yeah. Bonds is a piece of shit."

The ICA's best kept secret -- REVEALED!

"Hello. My name is Nick Johnson. I'm really good at hitting baseballs, and I'm a human walking machine."

Stars cashing it in?

With today's trade of red-hot Paul Konerko to the Renegades for a third-round draft choice, manager Steve Weiland is apparently conceding what many league experts have been saying since the end of last season.

The Outlaw Stars just aren't that good.

Fellow managers Tom Lyons and Adam Kirby picked Weiland's Stars to finish in 7th and 6th place, respectively, in their preseason predictions, and through 2 1/2 weeks of the ICA season, those predictions would appear to be on target. The Stars are currently in 8th place, at 14-21-1, and are in danger of dropping yet another contest this week to DaFaze.

The Stars have already abandoned their preseason slogan, "You'd better bring your A game," following whippings from both expansion franchises -- neither of which particularly brought its A game. The Stars are a sinking ship.

On the Konerko trade, Weiland sounded like a manager who knew his team had hit a downward slope.

"With Konerko going to be up for free agency at the end of the year, we felt we had to get some value for our all-star first baseman," he said. "This will certaintly build for the future."

Given Konerko's history of extreme streakiness -- and perhaps more importantly, his status as a mandatory-release player -- the trade was a wise one for the Stars.

But it undoubtedly sends a disappointing message to Stars fans, who had hoped the ICA's most historically consistent franchise wouldn't ever experience the bitter taste of rebuilding.

2006, Pick 2 overall

"Hello. My name is Travis Hafner. I'm really good at hitting baseballs."

Kirb's predictions

ICA Regular Season
1. DaFaze
2. VP Golden Sox
3. Wyoming Pigs
4. Renegades
5. Pine Tar Incident
6. Outlaw Stars
7. UD Bleacher Bums
8. Walden Warriors
9. Oedipus and the Mamas Boys
10. The American Giants

Fuggin Semifinals
DaFaze over Renegades
Sox over Pigs

Fuggin Finals
Sox over DaFaze

Kirby retarded, Teixeira terrified

Upon being introduced as the newest member of Oedipus and the Mamas Boys, first baseman Mark Teixeira flees in horror.

Special thanks to the photographer, Jason Smith, for making me look "special." I appreciate that.

Trade to report

Renegades send:
Jake Peavy
Pick 72

Walden sends:
Jason Schmidt
Pick 3

On the clock

At Tom's suggestion, I'd like to start enforcing our draft day rules regarding how long everyone has to make their picks. I offer this proposal:

• First round picks may take up to five minutes
• Subsequent picks are allowed no more than three minutes
• Each manager may invoke one three-minute "grace period" at any point during the draft
• Once the clock has expired, and if the manager has used up his grace period, the person with the next pick may jump ahead and make a pick

This is a fair amount of time, I think. Anybody object this proposal?

We will hopefully have some type of exacting clock mechanism (a stopwatch, egg timer, something) to make this go smoothly.

Mock Draft

Some owners have been working on a mock draft for a couple weeks now ...

Now that I've actually taken the time to do some draft prep, I'll also participate. Here's where the draft is at so far. Remember, anyone can add to the mock draft by adding to the comments section of this post -- just try to make it logical.

Here are your draft picks and who owns them...

Colby: 1, 11, 29, 32, 40, 41, 60, 80, 90 (9)
Jason: 12, 19, 31, 36, 52, 53, 58, 71, 82 (9)
Tom: 2, 3, 5, 6, 10, 17, 33, 67, 83 (9)
Meer: 4, 15, 24, 28, 44, 54, 64, 74, 84 (9)
Figgs: 14, 25, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85, 88 (8)
Newman: 16, 26, 46, 56, 66, 72, 76, 77, 86 (9)
Adam: 7, 27, 34, 37, 38, 47, 51, 57, 62, 63 (10)
Mike: 8, 18, 23, 35, 42, 48, 61, 68, 78, 87 (10)
Curt: 9, 39, 49, 59, 69, 79, 89 (7)
Weiland: 13, 20, 21, 22, 30, 43, 50, 70, 73 (9)

The mock draft, to date ...
1. Oedipus: Mark Teixeira
2. Warriors: Bobby Abreu
3. Warriors: Michael Young
4. Pine Tar: Andruw Jones
5. Warriors: Travis Hafner
6. Warriors: Chase Utley
7. Sox: Billy Wagner
8. DaFaze: John Smoltz
9. Pigs: Alfonso Soriano
10. Warriors: Tim Hudson

ICA Minor League Teams

So last winter meetings, we voted to add a minor league system for the 2007 season. I'm excited.

This begs the question: should ICA minor league teams have names? It'd be cool to have cafe press gear for your minor league team (all three players, at most).

On the other hand, it's not a minor league per se, as our minors squads won't be playing one another; team names might not be warranted.

All that being said, I think if I want to call my three minor leaguers (hopefully two, we'll see how we do this year), I can call them something. Behold, I introduce to you the name of a team that doesn't yet exist (except, of course, conceptually)...

No Trade Clauses?

In real life, when a team offers a free agent a no-trade clause, the free agent tends to prefer that over similar offers which do not include said clause.

Why can't ICA owners place bids that include no-trade clauses?

Say we had this rule in effect for the upcoming draft. Adam selects, whoever, Billy Wagner at pick 7. The owner within one pick -- at pick 8, in this case Feigh -- could offer his own pick along with a notrade clause. Thereafter, the original drafter (Adam) could match the no-trade offer to Wagner, or give Wagner to Feigh in return for Feigh's own pick 8.

If Wagner is offered a no-trade clause by either Feigh or Kirby, he is bound to appear on his owners' 13-man team until he retires, dies, or mandatorily released. So, it's a pretty hardcore commitment.

Not too complex, and would definitely add a twist to draft day. What do you all think?

Figgs lives

I made contact with Figgs (Mark Wegren) today, and he does indeed still exist. He won't be attending the draft in person, but he'll be there via Internet. Let's hope that's the case.

This is the up-to-date draft list ...

Present:
Me
Steve
Jason
Tom
Meer
Colby
Feigh

Online:
Figgs

Undetermined:
Curt (online or by request list)
Newman (online or with surrogate)

Why ICA 2011 is expensive

Tom says his proposal below would not be that expensive. I disagree.

Things that Tom proposed that require an expense (my comments in bold):

1. "the spare room of Anyway's or something" — requires renting space

2. "microphones to amp up this bad boy" — requires renting or purchasing, and necessitates renting space as opposed to just plopping down at some tables

3."We arrange for the ICA to be set up as a charitable organization" — not cheap

4. "a LED-light display detailing each pick" — I thought at first he was being facetious, but apparently he's serious about this

5."Other owners are wearing appropriate attire with their team's logo on it" — that's fine with me, but I've had logo apparel available for sale for 3 years, and exactly 4 owners, fewer than half, have made purchases

6. "Big honkin posterboards are all over the place with each team's roster and logo" — not horribly expensive, but not cheap either

7. "We get a HARDCORE draft board" — either expensive or not hardcore

8. "If we play our cards right, in 5 years the value of an ICA franchise could hit $1000 if we approach this with a sound marketing strategy and treat it like a business. That's not a bad return." — it's not a bad return if you're looking to sell your team, which I'm not, and it still doesn't address the fact that nobody who would be willing to pay big bucks for a team is going to want to do it when the championship pot is $200 or so. If you're willing to dramatically increase annual dues, then this starts to make sense.

The ICA, 2011

I sent this email to Weiland this morning, but then I thought others should really read this also. Curious if it hits a chord with anyone else.

=====

Steve,

Fact is, we have an round of expansion application set to start in one year. We need to capitalize on that, and ergo, plan for that capitalization.

I was hanging with Jason at Champ's last night. We got some marketing ideas.

*The owners' meeting has got to be in a public place. We need a big flippin banner with the ICA logo on it, and we need to own the spare room of Anyway's or something. We could have expansion applications on hand. We also need microphones to amp this bad boy.

*We arrange for the ICA to be set up as a charitable organization, which is admittedly expensive. However, we host a charity poker tournament, once again to be held at a public place. Cue the aforementioned banner.

*On draft day, we have to get Adam in a suit to read every pick. It's got to be more about entertainment/theatre than about getting a draft done. Once again, in a public place. Expansion apps on hand. Get a LED-light display detailing each pick. Every owner shouting and clapping - a la the NFL - after each pick. Other owners are wearing appropriate attire with their team's logo on it. We're using microphones again. Big honkin posterboards are all over the place with each team's roster and logo. We get a HARDCORE draft board.

With three over-the-top, very public, very fun events in a public place of people interested in baseball, the market value of each team - including expansion teams - will skyrocket. If we play our cards right, in 5 years the value of an ICA franchise could hit $1000 if we approach this with a sound marketing strategy and treat it like a business. That's not a bad return.

But, we have to get out of this mentality that we can't be more than 10 schmucks on Yahoo. If we begin with the end in mind - an aggressive, professional, competitive fantasy baseball league that only allows the most serious of owner - and act toward that end, the ICA will be the cream of the crop of fantasy baseball everywhere.

But it starts with marketing.

Anyone's thoughts please?

-Tom

Request from the CMO

What I'm looking to do is have a theme song from each team that will play during each of your picks. If you could either post here or email the theme song of your choice that would be great. If not a song will be selected to fill the void of silence during your pick. Personally I'd rather pick my own. Hope you draft preparations are going well. Lastly if you haven't replied to the evite that would be most appreceative.

Stephen Weiland
Chief Marketing Officer
Illinois Chooch Association

Is this too complex to be cool?

I was talking to Colby last night, and we came up with an idea.

Follow me here.

Imagine you're the VP Golden Sox. You have Ben Sheets. You like Ben Sheets. Ben Sheets, when healthy, doesn't suck at pitching.

Milwaukee is one of the 20 teams that could be drawn in the next MR drawing. Statistically, Milwaukee has a 1 in 4 chance of being drawn (5 out of 20). This concerns you if you own Ben Sheets. So you decide to convert Ben Sheets into a restricted free agent.

Before the MR drawing, you can restrict one (and only one) player on your 22-man team. To do so binds you to selecting that player on your 13-man team. You restrict Ben Sheets by foregoing a draft pick in an even round, say your 4th round pick, in the subsequent draft.

We follow that with the standard MR drawing and 13-man selections. If Milwaukee is indeed selected, and Ben Sheets then mandatorily dropped at the following winter, the owner that selects Sheets (a restricted free agent) owes the Golden Sox a draft pick equal to one-half of the round that was foregone by the Golden Sox. In this case, one-half of a 4th rounder is a 2nd rounder.

*You're concerned about losing Sheets without anything to show for him.
*You cough up an even rounded draft pick to restrict Ben Sheet's potential forthcoming free agency. We'll call it a 4th rounder (but it could be 2, 4, 6, or 8).
*If the Milwaukee is selected, Sheets will be mandatorily released.
*When Sheets is drafted, you are owed a 2nd round pick by the team that drafts him, as two is one-half of four.

A couple of things I think this can do:
*Entice risk-averse owners to essentially lose draft picks buying MR-insurance.
*Entice players with talented, MR-eligible players to lose draft picks buying MR-insurance.
*Spice up the MR system.
*Increase the value of draft picks.
*Decrease the price-in-draft picks of restricted players (as additional draft picks would be owed).

Also, imagine you cough up a 4th rounder to restrict Sheets, and in fact he has a horrid year. No one in their right mind will draft him AND lose a 2nd rounder to obtain him. Theoretically, Sheets might not get drafted, which would then lead to another implication...

*The importance of post-draft waivers would skyrocket.

I think this is a really cool idea, and could do a lot of good. The only cost, as I see it, is complexity.

Is this too complex to be cool?

Draft update

For those of you who were worried about missing NCAA tournament action you will be well taken care of. Coverage of the tournament will be shown in both the main forum as well as the trade conference room. Feel free to email (sweiland125@yahoo.com) or blog any other concerns. If it is a reasonable request we will take care of your need.

Stephen Weiland
Chief Marketing Officer
Illinois Chooch Association

Mock Draft?

It'd be pretty cool if interested ICA owners could do a mock draft before the real deal on March 19th. One problem, though, and that's the fact that in order to obtain value, sometimes it's best to keep one's draft intentions hush hush.

Which brings me to suggest the following: a don't pick for yourself mock draft. People could go to a message board, and make a mock draft pick on behalf of someone else. The only rules would be that one couldn't make a mock pick for their own team and the actual draft order would have to be obeyed.

Here are your draft picks and who owns them...

Colby: 1, 11, 29, 32, 40, 41, 60, 80, 90 (9)
Jason: 12, 19, 31, 36, 52, 53, 58, 71, 82 (9)
Tom: 2, 3, 5, 6, 10, 17, 33, 67, 83 (9)
Meer: 4, 15, 24, 28, 44, 54, 64, 74, 84 (9)
Figgs: 14, 25, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85, 88 (8)
Newman: 16, 26, 46, 56, 66, 72, 76, 77, 86 (9)
Adam: 7, 27, 34, 37, 38, 47, 51, 57, 62, 63 (10)
Mike: 8, 18, 23, 35, 42, 48, 61, 68, 78, 87 (10)
Curt: 9, 39, 49, 59, 69, 79, 89 (7)
Weiland: 13, 20, 21, 22, 30, 43, 50, 70, 73 (9)

It could be done right on this blog. I'll make this easy..."With the first pick in the 2006 ICA Draft, Oedipus & the Mama's Boys select Mark Teixeira, 1B, Texas."

Now somebody that isn't me replies to make a pick or two for Walden, and then someone who isn't Meer replies to make a mock pick for Pine Tar, and so on.

With a SMALL bit of effort, this could be really cool.

League's ready to go

The Yahoo league is up and running. The league ID is 83012, the password is the same as last year (starts with an F). If you don't know the password, e-mail me.

Sign up for the league here.

Yahoo tweaked the site layout a bit, as it does every year. New this time around is something called "Smack Talk," though I haven't quite determined how that's different from the message board, along with a very cool feature that displays your entire fantasy sports history. It even includes a virtual trophy case!

I had forgotten the inspiring second place performance of Seashells & Balloons in the 2001 VP/Lombard Chooch League. Thanks Yahoo.

Previous trade update

UD Bleacher Bums send Todd Jones and 2006 pick #15 to Pine Tar Incident for Troy Glaus and 2006 pick #14.

Here's a Trade for all y'all...

Walden Warriors send:
Cliff Floyd

to Pine Tar Incident, who in return, sends:
Derek Turnbow

to Walden.

Give him fuel, give him fire, give him that which he desires.

American Giants fail again

The greatest comeback in the history of ICA-member dart competitions came at about 2:30 a.m. Sunday, Feb. 5, when VP Golden Sox manager Adam Kirby defeated perennial loser Jason Smith of The American Giants.

In the first match of a best of three cricket series, Smith jumped out to a commanding 164-0 lead, having closed out all columns except bullseyes.

Then, in true American Giants fashion, Smith suddenly became woeful. The final score: Kirby somehow prevailed, 200-194.

In other words, Kirby nailed 11 bulleyes before Smith managed three.

Hilarious.

Smith did manage to bounce back, winning Game 2, 15-0. Of course, Kirby claimed the overall series, winning Game 3 by a final of 90-50.

But it will be the epic 164-point choke that will forever go down in history as the most pathetic performance in the history of ICA dartdom.

Friendly reminder

Don't forget, the draft date is Sunday, March 19, time and location to be determined. Save the date. If you know you can't make it, or you won't be available by Internet, please find an alternate to draft on your behalf.

Also, it was decided at the winter meeting that all owners must designate emergency alternate GMs to draft on their behalf, should they be no-shows on draft day. Please post your designees in the comments section below, or send me an e-mail.

I'm designating Tom, by the way.

What's the point?

So you may be asking yourself what's the point of this blog, since we have a message board on the league Web site during the season and a a seperate site for other crap. Well, this may indeed prove to be superfluous, but I see some potential in it.

Unlike the Yahoo message boards, the blog format allows for more creativity in the form of image uploading, Web links, etc. More importantly, the blog automatically archives. I don't know about you, but I really hate when I make an insightful, thought-out post on the message board, only to have it disappear into nothingness after two months.

And unlike the league Web site (which, as Weiland notes below, is in the process of being upgraded), this format is more user-friendly to technology retards like myself.

The message boards will still be the preferred spot during the season for trade notices, trash talking and the like. But if you've got something thoughtful to say -- a statistical breakdown, or a trade critique, or a satirical witicism, or whatever -- this is the place for it.

I'd like to get all 10 managers on board here with posting capability. Y'all should have received an invite by e-mail. If not, drop me a line.

Letter from the CMO

Over the next month we are going to be doing an overhaul of the league's website. If you have any suggestions of what you would like to see done please feel free to post on the blog or email me at sweiland125@yahoo.com. Also we are putting a cd together for draft day, and are looking for your opinions on song to be put on the playlist. Thank you.